Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
