Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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