if you like me you must not know who I am
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
