I'm gonna have a badass scar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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