Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
