I am spending my child support on dildos
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize