I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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