Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
