his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
