Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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