McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We left the knife in your bed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
