I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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