we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize