i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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