it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I would fuck him just for his dog
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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