i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
