do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize