bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Your penis caused this!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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