I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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