please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize