She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
