Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
