Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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