How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
