Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize