In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize