i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
