he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
