He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
