dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
