He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
