I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
