im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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