love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no, he came in my armpit
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Randomize
