They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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