I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
