WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
