just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
