Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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