thus making me awesome and them whores
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize