Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
