Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
