I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
