Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
