it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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