he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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