This girl is more easily done than said...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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