Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Even my vagina gasped.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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