Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
