No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
