I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
