i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
