i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
