Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
