? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
