Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
