and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
