I'm so fucking centered right now
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
