did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
