the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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