the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
