what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
