I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
