also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
