Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
