Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
