a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
