She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
