Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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