i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
