I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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