i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
