no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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