Someone shit on the floor
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize