I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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