first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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